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10 Things Not To Do After Your First Few Open Mics

1/6/2015

25 Comments

 
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You finally did it -- screwed up your courage, signed up on the list, and took the stage at your local weeknight open mic.  Congratulations!  Wasn't that fun?  You're still coming down off the adrenaline rush, you're proud of yourself, you're replaying that moment where the host said "hey, good job" in your head like it was a scene in your favorite movie.

And you're sure you've found your calling.  You wanna do this!  More of this!  A lot more!

Allow me to welcome you to the standup comedy community. Some of us are doing it for a living, or trying to.  Others are simply enjoying open mic as a place to be creative, socialize in the real world and have an excuse to hit the bar on a weeknight.  Everyone's at a different skill level and comfort zone. We all have our own goals and reasons for being here.

Here's a few tips, offered in the spirit of friendship and with best wishes.  It's easy to make early mistakes out of excitement, and not even realize they're mistakes until later.  And if you stick around, some of these could come back to bite you in the ass later on, when you know better.

So here are some suggestions:


1. Don't lose your perspective

Your first time on stage was a life-altering experience - for you.  For everyone else on the planet, it was Tuesday.  Being thrilled about your set is fine, but wearing everyone you know out retelling the jokes, recounting the story and being annoying will tire them all out quickly.  If you keep at this, you'll eventually need spouses, relatives, co-workers and friends to come see you perform.  Don't make them all sick of you on Day Two of your journey.


2. Don't post your video on YouTube

Again -- you're proud.  You should be.  But your first set will never be your best set.  A year from now, if you've done a hundred more sets and you're getting serious, that debut is going to look like crap compared to your current work.  And anyone who sees that video will have that perception of you stuck in their head forever.

On a related note, if someone else offers to record your set and put it up, gently but firmly say no.  Even if you lack self-restraint and put your own early vids up, you can take them down later once you know better.  If someone else has them on their account, you're at their mercy.  They could forget their password, decide they don't feel like honoring your request, or just never check their email, and you're left with that first awkward, stuttering, fast-talking, sweat-drenched performance out there for everyone to see.

(And that is what it looks like.  We're sorry.  You'll laugh with us about it in a couple years, I promise.)


3. Don't change your Facebook profile name

Yesterday you were mild-mannered Xerxes Muldoon.  Today you're COMEDIAN XERXES MULDOON!  You're XERXES FUNNYMAN BRINGINTHEHOUSEDOWN MULDOON!  Don't do this.  Ever.  Your friends will roll their eyes and legitimate industry people will avoid you like you have a rash.  Comics make fun of the "Comedian Facebook Name" thing all the time.  The only exception: when you're trying to differentiate yourself from another person, with the same name, who's also doing high-profile public work.  And even then, you're nowhere near ready to do that yet.  Settle down.


4. Don't make merchandise

You've seen working comics selling t-shirts or hawking stickers.  You want in on THAT gravy train.  Absolutely don't.  I'm trying to take a friendly tone here, but you need to know this: nothing you write in your first year of comedy is worth putting on a t-shirt.  And you aren't performing anywhere where you selling merch is acceptable.  Even when you start hosting shows at a legit comedy club, it's a huge no-no.  You'll look like a  desperate asshole if you try to sell wares during a nine-minute set, or at an open mic.  You'll guilt a few friends into buying your crap, sure.  But people you don't even know will think you're a chump for years to come.  It's not worth it.


5. Don't start a show yet

You got bumped at an open mic, or you didn't like how the guy before you swore too much or used his notes, and you're mad!  And you know EXACTLY how to make an open mic better!  So you're going to approach a venue about running your own show.  This makes as much sense as opening a restaurant after the third time you've assembled a sandwich at home.  Stick around, keep your head down, learn more about comedy and comics, before you waste money on sound equipment, burn up your credibility with fellow comedians, and potentially ruin a venue for everyone else by putting on a show ineptly.




6. Don't start asking for real gigs yet

You're not ready.  99 out of 100 times, the booker will know this and you'll look like a fool for asking for paid work, feature gigs, etc. when you're clearly still mastering your first five minute set.  And they'll remember you as a fool long after you ARE ready.  Even worse, 1 out of 100 times, you'll sneak past the gatekeepers, get yourself on a show, crash and burn, and make yourself look even worse.  This will hurt you later on.  Accept that this is a process, it takes a while, and focus on short-term goals like perfecting those first five minutes, or writing the next five.


7. Don't write a whole new set for your next mic

Many people don't realize that comics do the same material, show after show.  They get so excited that they write more than they need, and don't hone their existing material.  The 100th time you tell a joke, it's a much different animal than the first or second time.  Constantly diving off a cliff with all-new material robs you of a chance to get truly comfortable with a joke, tweak it, get the cadence just right, and develop it into something you can rely on to get laughs in any situation.  You're not only learning to make jokes, you're learning stage presence, diction, mic technique, crowd interaction and projection.  You have to be familiar with your material before you can focus on those equally important aspects.


8. Don't spam social media

Think of the world's patience as a bank account.  There's a finite amount.  If you've put everyone on Instagram on blast about how you're the next Katt Williams or Jim Gaffigan, day after day, they're eventually gonna tune you out.  When you actually have something worthy to share with them, they'll be sick of hearing from you.  Ideally, by the time people come out specifically to see you perform, you should have been on stage many times and really worked on what you're presenting.  Which reminds me...

 
9. Don't forget that this is work

The job of a great standup comic is to make it look like anyone can do it.  It's conversational, it's casual, it's relaxed or animated, but it looks like the most natural thing in the world.  It takes years to get that good at it.  You wouldn't watch half a football game in the stands, scoff "I can run plays better than THESE jerks," and jog out onto the field in the third quarter, would you?

Almost no one is a natural at standup.  And even people predisoposed to be great at it need years of constant writing, performing, and honest self-analysis to get up there and look like they're just winging it.  If you assume you'll be amazing on Day One, you're not only delusional, you're not respecting the sacrifice and hard work put in by those before you.  And speaking of that...


10. Don't be an asshole

Be nice to the other people you meet.  Be civil.  Learn that rejection is not a personal affront.  Treat venues with respect.  Tip the waitstaff and don't hit on them.  Don't get blackout drunk at the club.  Chip in gas money.  Don't become known as an argumentative douche in comedy groups online.  Just be a decent person, keep your notebook on you at all times, get all the stage time you can, and approach comedy with a little bit of joy and humility, and it will be one of the coolest things you ever do with your life.

25 Comments
Leslie
1/6/2015 02:40:12 am

Great read! All good points...I have a lot to learn 😊

Reply
Rob Glessner
1/6/2015 03:02:12 am

Excellent advice, thanks Keith!

Reply
Patsyb
1/6/2015 04:27:32 am

:)

Reply
Jo
1/6/2015 05:13:08 am

I enjoyed reading this blog. Thanks for all the interesting tips.

Reply
Ryan Meehan link
1/6/2015 05:13:56 am

Keith,

Never done stand-up but a huge fan and this is spot on. I am however a musician and I can say that a lot of the same principles do apply to playing live.

Very well done.

Meehan

Reply
Jon Lynch
1/6/2015 05:38:04 am

Also, listen and ask questions. You will find so many comedians want to tell you exactly how to do your set. You're new, you're learning your own style. Keep working on it until you find something comfortable.

Don't start commenting on every blog and post and link. Everything you say reflects directly upon your personality and presence. If you make snarky comments and witty (or what you think is) jokes people might start to write you off.

Reply
Norm
1/6/2015 05:58:14 am

Nice article!

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Kerry McCabe
1/6/2015 10:25:43 am

Thank you for writing this. I am that dude that just had his first performance. Good advice! I had my wife record the show and have had people begging me to post it and even before I read this article I had decided it was not a good idea to post it. You have just strengthened my position on NOT posting it. It was fun and a humbling experience. I have gobs of respect for comedians.

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Jeffrey Paul
1/6/2015 11:35:14 am

Great advice, wish I read this when I first started

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vinnie
1/6/2015 09:38:55 pm

You hit the nail on the head...very well written

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Charlie Thomas
1/7/2015 03:16:26 am

So true and again much respect for your writing. Love your articles.

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Nate Puppets
1/7/2015 06:36:04 am

Dude this is an amazing article

Reply
Dan Ratner
1/7/2015 09:40:55 am

great article. Only 6 months in myself and glad I comply with all of these so far. Thanks for the reassurance. See you backstage on one of the late night shows 😛

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Chris Youmans
1/7/2015 10:42:12 am

I am a huge stand-up comedy fan and have been considering trying to go on an open mic night. Just trying to work up the courage to finally take the leap. I would say all of these things are spot on and great advice. Best one for me was knowing its ok to bomb and that things will not go great from the get go and thats ok.

Reply
Dan G
1/7/2015 12:08:23 pm

Great article. As a guy that came up through open mikes and eventually moved on to feature work; and quit doing comedy a couple years ago (real job & lost the passion for it). This was spot on. I recall at one point when I was booking a decent amount of work, another comedian asked me, "How do you get so much work?" (meanwhile this was just opener/feature work, but still work) & I replied "Be good on stage and don't be an asshole off stage". It becomes that easy. Great article!

Reply
Phillip Anthony link
1/8/2015 05:42:14 am

Great points and guidelines, not only to follow... but to remind us that there's no such thing as "Overnight Success".

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Jerry Dymond link
1/8/2015 10:49:54 am

Thank you for the tips. I really needed that. I want to be the Best Stand up comedian.. Those were really helpful hints. Thank you again .. :)

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Stephen Harper link
1/8/2015 11:43:08 pm

Fantastic comment but one issue. Unnecessary slur " recounting the story and being a spaz will tire them all out quickly."
If that word isn't as loaded a term in the US as it is in the UK then it's slightly more understandable but if you can't think of a better word for losing your perspective and being annoying than a slur that mocks the disabled then you won't go far as a stand up!
This isn't to say that comedy can't touch issues such as disability but when it does, it should be punching up, at those who would mock them, and at any power structures who'd seek to put them at a disadvantage, not at those who would struggle to defend themselves.

Otherwise a very good read!

Reply
Keith Bergman
1/9/2015 01:05:49 am

Stephen,

I genuinely had no idea that word was used as a slur in British English. I'm reading up on it now. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.

Keith

Reply
Frank
3/11/2015 01:00:32 am

How dare you say fag all the time, if that word isn't as loaded...never mind

Reply
Keith Bergman
1/9/2015 01:18:06 am

Edited to remove the word in question. Thank you again.

Reply
Stephen Harper link
1/9/2015 01:37:39 am

Hi Keith,

I figured it was more likely a cultural thing than genuine intent to offend on your part! Thanks for your swift response!
And again thanks for the article really good read!

Stephen

Reply
chris dewar
1/28/2015 09:54:35 am

wish i knew you 2 years ago

Reply
Carlin
2/10/2015 08:13:35 am

Spot on! I re-posted.

Reply
Tony Don't link
2/11/2018 10:27:43 am

Spot on Dude, (0:

Reply



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